Losing Master...Part I

First...disbelief!! Did i just hear Master say those words? Get out!!! I don't want you!!! Next...an extreme sense of fear. He doesn't mean that... Master promised to keep me, cherish me, love me, mold me forever!!! i desperately look into his eyes while kneeling in front of him. They are empty. Full of disgust!! Disgust for me, His WIFE and His slave. He throws my leash at me, tells me to pack my things & to get the fuck out of His house. He throws $100 at me & says go get a room and get away from Him. Tears are pouring heavily down my face. Anxiety kicks in, i'm desperate. i'm pulling at his feet while he tries to get away from me, begging him to change his mind. i began to cough heavily. He kicks me away & says GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. I DON'T WANT YOU!! i crash to the floor in disbelief. I can't breathe. Every breath feels as if someone is hitting me in the chest with a sledge hammer. i began to cough profusely, saliva begins to run down my mouth & i still can't breathe. i try to catch my breath but i can't. i feel as if i'm going to die right then & there.

He comes over me & removes my collar. He says to me, "you stay, I'll leave" & leaves me there, all by myself. Master knows my greatest fear is to die alone. i panic! Where is the phone, i need to call for help. i began to vomit violently...& a voice in my head says "omg please don't let me die alone". i vomit again, over & over. i can't get up. i can't call for help. i can't breathe. i'm irrational. my inner voice says "Master is gone. If you don't breathe you WILL die alone". i concentrate one second at a time on breathing. i'm still vomiting. Anxiety is still controlling me. my inner voice screams at me "GET IT TOGETHER, BREATHE BITCH OR YOU WILL DIE ALONE"!! and i breathe between the violent vomiting. Next...find the phone, where is the phone? Call for help. my eyes wont focus. everything is blurry. i can't see anything but big blobs of blur. "CONCENTRATE BITCH OR YOU WILL DIE ALONE"!! i concentrate harder to see, between the unimaginable coughs & heaves & vomit. There it is, i can see the phone. It is wayyyy over there!!! Next...drag yourself to the phone & call for help. i feel helpless, i feel myself about to pass out between the coughs & vomiting. my head is pounding, my eyes feel as if they are about to explode out of my head. my head is pounding. DRAG YOUR BITCH ASS ACROSS THE ROOM & CALL FOR HELP OR YOU WILL DIE ALONE!! i call 911...here comes the seizures...again, and again, and again. i hear the voice on the other end, "ma'am, what is your emergency?". i am unable to answer her..."i am dying alone"....and i swiftly drift away into unconsciousness...

Story to be continued soon... ~DovesCagedBird~